On the edge of sanity

Kind of like a Knight in shining armor but not David made me an offer that I couldn’t possibly refuse. So I packed up what I could and we loaded it up into a rental car and headed east, out of California. I was excited at the chance to start anew, I mean after the eviction and not having a place to call home I was finally going to have a place where me and the boys would be safe. As I begin the process of laying new roots and making new friends I remain thankful and hopeful. Because it has been better, but it could be worse.

And I was right!

It's so crazy and amazing how life works out sometimes. Just a few weeks ago I was down and out and feeling lost. But all that changed when I received an email from a very special person from my past.

When I was 19 I fell in love, with an amazing man. Our time together was rather brief but the feelings in my heart and soul have never weakened for him. Over the last 20 years we have connected twice, once by chance thousands of miles from where we first met. At that time I thought I would never see him again but there he was in a bar in L.A. It was awkward to say the least since I was just a bit drunk and he was with his lover at the time. But there was no denying the instant connection then, it felt good just like it did in the past. A brief rendezvous shortly after and once again he was gone but not forgotten. Our last meeting was at least close to 10 years ago. Since then I have searched the internet on occasion hoping for some useful information. He had been on my mind and come up in conversation recently and then there it was his email although simply put "Adam it's David" floored me when I read it. It's rather ironic to think that the first person to show me how fragile and painful love can be is also the person to assure me that love is also enduring and joyful.

Over 20 years ago David had to say goodbye and although it broke my heart and his I'm certain. We have lived and experienced many things both fulfilling and painful. And through it all thoughts of each other have withstood the tests of time. And now after all these years we prepare to say hello again face to face and heart to heart. I can't wait for that moment when I can see his smile and feel the comfort of his arms wrapped around me once again.

It's my Birthday.

Well, today is my birthday. Feels like any other day, except for the fact that I keep thinking of my Mom and how lucky I was that she had me. I miss her a lot, but I know that she and my Granny are looking down at me as they sit back and enjoy a nice glass of wine in a beautiful place.

Who your friends really are!

It's been a while since I had the time to sit and write anything down. So the 14th of March came with the L.A. Sheriffs politely asking me to leave the unit. I had just laid down after moving as much as I could the night before. I was able to get about 20 minutes of sleep, and they showed up. I grabbed what I could and went to my neighbors house. Thats when I realized I didn't have my phone with me, when I went back Robert was in the process of changing the lock on the door (I'll bet it was with a stolen lock from Black & Decker, where he works) I told him I needed to get my phone and he replied with "Hurry up, I need to get to work" I asked him for more time since my clothes and cats where still in the unit. He said the two weeks I had were more than enough time. Meanwhile for the last three years the little bitch has used 90% of my garage as storage for his crap from when he moved. Well after threatening my cats with Animal Services and me with the Sheriffs he finally agreed to let me have the rest of the day in the unit. 48hours of nonstop moving with the help of Vivian, Randy and Donna I got what I could and closed the door to that part of my life. Its such a shame, so many good times that I'll never be able to look back on with a smile. 7 years wasted with a man who at almost 50 cant even be himself when it comes to being gay. A man that can hardly spell loyalty let alone know the meaning, a man so cheap he thinks a box of DOTS makes a good Christmas Present. A man so sad he cant even see what life is really about.

Although I am currently homeless, I can hold my head up knowing that friendship and loyalty withstand all the hardships life throws at you. And that the unconditional support from those who are truly your friends is a reflection of the kind of friend you have been to them. I may be alone in this world, but I'm never to far from my true friends. Vivian, Randy, Donna, Jim and Jack. Privately I have shed tears of joy because of your gifts of Friendship that I will always treasure.

11th Hour.

Well, here it is getting extremely close to me being evicted. What a tragedy this has been, the past year for that matter. I can't ever remember feeling the way I do now. It's kind of like shock and lost with a touch of worthlessness added for good measure. It is highly possible that Robert may change his mind and go with my proposal, but who knows.

Judge not needed.

The the day in court was pretty quick. Robert (my ex that is having me evicted from a condo he leases me) and I reached an agreement before the judge could decide. I'll end up paying him what I am behind but still have to leave by the 13th of the month.

I am still having a hard time believing that all of this is happening. We were together for 7 years, have know each other for 15 years and this is what it comes to. What do you say when shit like this happens?

When I think back on the good times and the bad we shared. I never would have imagined that the Love Affair and Friendship between us would be like a bad soap opera.

What the Runes have to say:

Othala

The stone is Merkstaved.

This may mean some delay in work or unexpected backing out of help. This may also mean you may have not received some inheritance that you were expecting. You may also develop a feeling of homelessness. You need to get a stock of the situation and stand on your two feet before you lose what you have.



The Question: Will the judge be fair in ruling?


Today I am scheduled to appear in court. My ex-lover who just so happens to be my landlord filed eviction papers. The situation is a bit complicated but some basic facts are as follows:

• My ex and I were together for 7 years.
• We have known each other for 15 years.
• I do not deny or dispute that I have fallen behind on my lease.
• I have never provided false information regarding my finances.
  

Comments regarding this issue welcomed.